Failures In Spellcraft

I have a teen witch right now who knows everything. So, I was surprised when I checked on her one evening to discover that she hadn’t completed the spell she’d wanted because she didn’t have the right ingredient. She had a red candle instead of a pink one.

For one thing, this shows I haven’t shown her how to overcome inconveniences. For another, it shows just how much the “right ingredients” can become crutches.

I’m a Gen X witch. We grew up wild and without instruction. All we had was the “k” in magick to let us know if we were safe or needed to watch what we said. We used the wind to guide us on our path of discovery. We used spirits to teach us how to cook and bake and, generally, not die. We put our guardian angels through the ringer with some of the things we did.

Some of my stories while figuring out how I practiced magick surprised even me. I lived through it, sure, but they’re just things I did. When I say them out loud, I’m like, “Wow, if I’d been a character in a book, the reader would be screaming at me because I was too stupid to live.” I mean, it was true. I went through magick like The Fool, just knowing that whatever happened, I’d figure out a way through it.

This also meant that I didn’t pay a lot of attention to the ingredients of my spells. I’d need to do something, and I would use whatever I had on hand. Like when I needed to get a guy to stop following me around. He was nice enough, and I didn’t really think I was in danger, but he refused to take no for an answer. Something that still haunts me to this day. I don’t think I say no correctly. But that’s a spell for later today.

That day, I had a scrap piece of paper that I’d already used. I’d needed a carnation for the spell I had in mind, but all I had was the clover growing wild in the grass. And I had a pen. The spell I was emulating needed so much more. It needed some herbs—oh, wait. I did grab some herbs from the kitchen, but they were all the wrong ones. I had salt and pepper, so I used both of those. I almost used the garlic, but opted not to. I was supposed to have a candle. I didn’t have one. And I needed a bowl of water. I used the lake.

The ingredients are there to help you focus your intent because sometimes that’s hard. That spell was no different. The man in question had caught me during a time when I was painfully alone. Like, I look back on those days and wish I could vacation there, but at the time, being alone hurt. He filled a void I’d needed, so my intent wasn’t super strong. But there was something about him that made me cautious. I’d almost say I was scared, except that I feel a different kind of fear when I’m around those I haven’t allowed close enough to hurt me. I think my caution was in the fact that he didn’t seem to comprehend where the line was, and I didn’t think he’d stop if I’d asked him to.

So, even though the flower I’d used promoted love, not healing and protection, and even though the paper wasn’t clean of “previous intent,” and I didn’t add the energy of fire to spread the message, I got the intent through. I whispered to the All Mother what I needed and why I needed Her help. Then, I gave her my paltry offering.

The next day, he didn’t call and he didn’t show up.

Keep that in mind as you’re figuring out how to be the witch you want to be. Spells aren’t the things that will save you. You are. Spells are just a starting point.